Sept 8, 1908: Tiny Cubs carry the team to victory. Also, how to win free gold.

It was a big day for the smallest Cubs players, who led the team to a 3-2 victory over the Cincinnati Reds. So let's say hello to the tale of the tape for the two Cub studs on the day ...

In this corner ... Left fielder Jimmy Slagle, who stands a whopping 5'7" and weighs all of 145 pounds.

They called me Rabbit (they really did)

And in this corner ... Hall of Fame second baseman Johnny Evers, who was a whole two inches taller at 5'9" but weighed a ridiculous 125 pounds soaking wet.

I will still punch you in the mouth.

125 pounds ... for a grown man and professional baseball player! The dude weighed less than most of the ball boys/girls that today guard foul territory at most major league games. Sure, Slagle was shorter, but Evers looks like he could barely fill out a pair of pants, so I think he wins the Little Man Competition of 1908. (Bonus points for him being such a mean little man who was constantly tossed out of games by umpires and suspended by the league for it.)

Regardless ... these two little guys got the job done today. Slagle went 3-3, added a walk, and also scored all three runs for the Cubs. Meanwhile, Evers was the batter that drove Slagle in for two of the three runs. The final (and game winner), came in the 7th when Slagle scored on a spectacular error by Reds pitcher Jack Rowan.

Slagle had led off the inning with a walk, and the next two Cubs batters both made outs. So with two outs and Slagle still on first, Rowan attempted to pick him off and proceeded to heave the ball over the head of first baseman Dick Hoblitzell's head. And this wan't your typical error, this throw was BAD, to the point that the ball launched into the field box seats and Slagle scored all the way from first while Hoblitzell tried to find the ball.

The Slagle score gave the Cubs the 3-2 lead, which also ended up being the final score. A tough loss for Rowan, but the good news is he did win the award of the day for Dumbest Way to Wear Your Baseball Hat. Look at this doofus ...

I'm stylish!

Apparently that was his signature look, the Tribune noting "he wears his little red cap on the the north-west corner of his bean in a free and easy, not to say sassy, manner." You go, girl!

In other news of the day, coming up with a catchy limerick could win you FREE GOLD! OK, well not anymore, since this was a contest running in the paper in 1908, but the Tabasco company gave away $3,000 in free gold for a contest, which is a whopping $153,846 in today's market.

Now the last line is supposed to rhyme with the first two, so I'm sure what the Tabasco people are shooting for here is something like "She yelled, my I just love my Tabasco!" ... That probably would've been a front runner for the big gold prize.

That said, the evil (and immature) part of me simply wants to suggest something way worse like "A feeling of fire shot straight out her ass-ho' ... YOWZA!"

[Editor's note: I know. I'm awful. Even I can't look myself in the mirror anymore. I promise you that I am totally grounding myself this weekend. That was straight up terrible.]

Moving on and trying to forget that ever happened ... the win sends the Cubs to 78-51 on the year. The Giants kept pace with a win (get used to reading that for a while), so their lead is still two games.

The St. Louis Cardinals arrive at the West Side Grounds tomorrow for ... shockingly ... the second to last home game of the entire SEASON for the Cubs. Yep ... 25 games left, and 23 of them are on the road, which in my opinion makes their World Series run even more impressive that it was done while playing three straight weeks on the road. What a grind!